I fanasize being breast-fed by Dick Cheney

The weekend at the beach was very relaxing. We had the boys again and Ragnar and his bf RF stayed out there with us as well. RF is an artist and he brought along a bunch of drawing supplies. He asked if the boys liked to draw and I told him my youngest loves to and as a completely biased father he is good too. I did warn him and so did the husband that my 8 year old is a chatter box. I told the boys before they went to bed that if they wanted to they could draw in the morning with RF. My youngest was all excited. HE got up very early Saturday morning all set to draw. I told him he had to wait 'til RF got up. What I did not tell him was the husband, Ragnar and RF were out very late at Sip 'n' Hurl.

Once RF got up, had his breakfast and coffee, my youngest was all over him. The sat at the table on the back porch and drew for quite some time. I thanked RF for being so patient and he said it was easy since my 8 year old does actually have talent. He also brainwashed my youngest into telling me I need to get him modelling clay.

The weather was great, we sat by the pool most of the weekend and played with the boys. We bought two Super Soakers and had a lot fun blasting each other with them. The boys developed a game where they float around on the rafts and blast each other. The only rule is no boarding allowed.

When I was not in the pool I was reading a book many on the Street have read and taken as gospel. The book is titled Fooled By Randomness. It's written by an optins trader. I am enjoying it and find it amusing and thought provoking. There was one paragraph that made me think how assinine some people are in my business. It made me wonder if some supposedly sophisticated investors get the idea of insurance. I could picture one of them calling their life insurance agent and complaining the product they were sold was usless since they did not die.

I seriously don't know why the business press is freaking out about the cost of gas. Yesterday's traffic when I took the boys home sucked and not in the way I like. Normally it takes me a hour to get from the ferry to the Verrazano Bridge (I cut thru Staten Island to get to central Jersey) but yesterday it took me over two hours. I was at the point of hating the Belt Parkway. Then once I zipped through SI I ran into flooding on Route 1 in Jersey. I was on the road for nearly 5 hours. I got home, the husband and I wolfed down some sushi then went into the city and watched the fireworks for Pride from the rooftop deck of Ragnar's building.

I have yet to hear if my MRI has been approved by the HMO. The ankle isn't bothering me too much. I did not wear the brace to work today and by the time I got home it was starting to swell a bit.

I read the NY Times magazine in the paper yesterday an interview with Uma Thurman's father. He is apparently a professot of Buddhist studies at Columbia. All I know is that once I read how when he is angry at Dick Cheney he meditates and imagines Darth Cheney was his mother in a former life and breast fed him- seriously, that guy is a freak.

You can be my cabana boy

Yesterday the cute/hot data service vendor salesguy was in the office. I noticed he was fairly tan so asked if he had started life guarding on the side. He said nope, he was moonlighting as a cabana boy. He then told me and the kid next to me that he actually had been down in Fort Lauderdale visiting a friend from college. My ears perked up right away and I IMed the kid next to me that FTL is a huge gay mecca these days and not the place it was when I was attempting to live a straight lifestyle and going there for spring break. Damn he is cute. When he left I told my co-worker that the husband and I could use a cabana boy at the beach house. Data services vendor salesguy woul look real good in a square-cut.

I love reading wikipedia. Everyday I learn something new from it. Yesterday I was reading about sub-atomic particles when it dawned on me that quarks are gay. Seriously, they are subject to the color force (hello- a sub-atomic particle that worries about color?). There are six types too: up, down, strange, charm, TOP and BOTTOM. Hello?? Quarks are gay. I think this should prove to those who think it is a choice that being gay is as natural as sub-atomic particles. But I digress...

This morning the boss asked if I had any plans tomorrow night. I told him I had tenative social plans in the evening. He said good, I want you to go to the disaster recovery site in my place. Our firm is always sending people up there to make sure it is functioning at all times. So I am driving up there to Connecticutt. Some of the other people going asked if I was taking Metro North. I asked if they thought if there really was a disaster in Manhattan do they truly believe I'd be able to get to Grand Central and grab a train? They concurred that I had a very good and valid point.

One of our tech guys has part of his department up there so he is up there twice a week. He lives in Jersey as well so he gave me the 411 on the best route to drive. He also told me

I have not heard back from the ankle doctor as to whether or not my HMO approved the MRI. I have how ever been back in the gym. I have been doing the elliptical machine because it is extremely low impact on the ankles. I am not jumping back into karate yet until I am fully confidant I will not break my tibia with a well placed low kick on my oppenents inner thigh.

Even now my parents sometimes embarrass me

Friday night the husband went to The Cure concert in the city with one of his girlfriends who also happens to be in our line of work so he got to view them from a sky box in MSG. I've been to her employer's sky box and it is fun. He then went out with a former co-worker who he is fairly certain goes to our church but is a secret member. He then proceeded to hit all the bars in HK after the concert with him and his "friend." At the end of the night he invited them out to the beach for a weekend.

The boys, the kids and I got to the beach Friday night and watched some Cartoon Network. The husband sent me a text asking for a wake-up call at 8 AM. So I set the alarm for 7:30 knowing my husband the way I do. I started calling him at 7:30 with no answer and proceeded to call him every 10 minutes there after until he picked up at 8:30 to say he was in TK's car on the way out and was expecting to get on the 10:20 Ferry.

My oldest and I went down to the Pantry to get some breakfast sandwiches. We also set up his voice mail box on his new cell phone. I then called the husband only to have him answer with "We missed the boat, will be on the 11:20." When he finally disembarked from the ferry and gave me a hug and a kiss he was blowing major heat, lol. He could have peeled paint. I asked if someone forgot to brush their teeth. We got back to the house he immediately crashed and napped for several hours.

The six of us took a walk on the beach. My youngest found a spider crab shell and was totally excited. At that point he asked if he could invite his best friend out to the beach. I said of course you can but he needs to ask his parents if it is okay. The husband said no problem. His older brother said his friend can't come because he doesn't know what gay is.I said that is not an issue. I said what are you trying to say really. After some more of the Socratic method it came out that the best friend has older siblings that my oldest knows. So, what the issue really is is he thinks the friend will talk about gay Fire Island. I said my guess is the parents will say no and I feel bad for my youngest that he will not get an honest explanation that his friend can't come to the beach for the weekend because his dad is gay. I told my oldest that this is how it will probably play out and he is going to have to be extra nice to his younger brother to help soften the blow. The husband agreed with me that the friend will probably not get the nod to visit for the weekend but by enthusiastically asking my youngest has completely endeared himself to my husband.

I have been wearing a black ankle brace since Thursday to help with my possible stress fracture. I did ask if they had any other colors since black is so passe- j/k. Many friends on the beach commented that it is a reminder that I am not a kid anymore.

I had to get the boys home early yesterday for a rock climbing birthday party. So we caught a very early ferry back and I was back in Hoboken by 2:15. I took a nap for several hours. When I got up I had a text from Ragnar asking if we wanted to join him and his bf at Folsom East. The husband was in transit back and passed but I met them there. Let me just say it was definitely an eye-opener. There were some real hotties but I couldn't get past the naked 60 year old getting whipped. I immediately made a bee line for the beer cart.

The husband and I then took in a movie, The Strangers. It was a very good screamfest. The only bad part was Scott Speedman was not shirtless once. We then headed back to Hoboken and stopped by our favorite watering hole/restaurant. One of our favorite bartenders was actually off duty and he had some drinks with us. Come to find out the kid is a former Marine and he has some serious ink including one on the inside of his lower lip. It totally freaked the husband out and he told me not to get any ideas.

I had dinner with JP tonight. He loves when he sees his initials on her so here is a big homo shout out to you JP! He finished his first gig up north and has signed on for a second one. He looks great, has lost weight, is very tan and has a very serene air about him. Getting out of the whole scene in NYC has done him good I think and told him so. We had dinner at Cafeteria. I swear every employee there except for teh busboys is gay. He'll be back in August and hopefully make it out to the beach for a weekend.

One thing regarding the markets that stunned me was the bond insurers saying they are talking to the banks about commuting their CDS obligations. That is stunning and shows the depth of the problems with the financials. IT would be akin to an insurance company coming to you after your house burned down and saying how about we ignore the fact we are legally obligated to give you money to rebuild your house?

After the close UPS blew chunks. Another bad sign for the economy overall and it should only be a matter of time before the government admits we are in a recession. I believe the word anemic was used to describe the economy in their press release. The Fed is meeting for two days starting tomorrow. They are definitely not cutting rate and would guess there is a less than 15% chance they raise them. If they do watch out for 1250.

I am getting kinda old I guess

So this morning when I got up my right ankle was a bit swollen and sore. It had been bothering me sinceMonday morning and I thought nothing of it. But yesterday morning when I was running for he bus it definitely gave me a jolt of pain that said stop running and catch the next bus. I took some advil when I got to work and because I sit most of the day it was fine. But when the husband and I were walking back from our anniversary dinner at Blue Hill I had to stop several times due to a jolting pain again in my ankle. This morning I asked the boss for his doctor's name and number in the city. Called and made an appointment.

When I got there it was very swollen. The doctor asked me after taking a look at the x-rays how many times I sprained my ankle. I told him look, I've been active in organized sports since I was in seventh grade, take karate and just did a triathlon Saturday- I have no idea how many times I've sprained my ankle. He told me I had a lot of garbage floating around in my ankle. He then told me it was most likely a stress fracture but I would need to get an MRI to know for sure. Then he gave me an ankle brace to wear for a week or two.

The boss and I had dinner with an old co-worker of mine who is now doing the same job as my boss but for a different shop. She taught me the biz and I am still good friends with her even though we haven't worked together in over eight years. The boss had met her at an industry conference and knew of her because I always talk about her. It was an interesting and enjoyable meal. She did comment on my new glasses and asked when and why I got them.

I noticed MBI lost it's last triple A rating. That will not be good for the tape. It could quite possibly engender a whole new round of write downs and that will cause more pain for the financials. The CFO of C admitted as much. So much for the summer being quiet.

I thought this week things would slow down

Friday night as we were getting everything packed and ready to go for the race on Saturday I couldn't find my numbered tag I was supposed to wear for the race. We came to realize the Nazi cleaning lady had thrown it out. The husband had a fit, called her and reamed her a new asshole- all in Portuguese. It got to the point I felt bad for her. Told him to hang up, not a big deal, they'd still let me race.

We got up early and drove out to the club the race was being held at. I told the organizers what happened, wasn't a big deal and they gave me my chip anyways.

I did very well on the swim, blew it on the bike and actually ran 8 1/2 minute miles in the run. My boss did the race and all I have to say is he is a fucking hardcore machine! He beat all of us. He finished in 1:54. His swim and run were about the same as mine but he crushed the bike. The husband beat me by three minutes again because he did very well on the bike. He admitted afterwards that he had three panic attacks in the swim. I had warned him many times that swimming in open water in a crowd is very different. He said he may be scarred by the experience. When we got in the car to go home he commented we could probably get another tri in by the end of the summer. I said no fucking way and good luck.

If you have never been to a tri I have to say there are a lot of hot men there. On the run I noticed this one stunning guy who was running shirtless. After he finished I happened to notice his age (for some reason they write it in a Sharpie on your calf) and then felt very dirty- he was 17. Afterwards as we were packing up my boss came over. He had his shirt off and the husband was staring. I whispered into his ear "Close your mouth, you're going to catch flies and stop flirting with my boss." The husband also was flirting with my secret man-crush here at the office- who I thought was in his 30s but is actually only 28.

After the race we drove home, showered up and got back in the car to drive out to my out-laws house. They were having a house warming and barbecue. I took charge of the grill because fire is cool. I grilled up shrimp, chicken, sweet Italian sausages, hamburgers, cheeseburgers and a few hot dogs. At one point the husband came and asked if we could switch, he would grill and I'd go mingle. I said no way, I hate crowds. What I found interesting is how his family introduced me. I was designated an important part of the family. The whole Latin issue with gays is odd. They totally except me as part of the family but aren't sure how to introduce me. At one point I introduced myself as his older sister's brother-in-law. She was kind of shocked when I said that but then agreed that is what I am. His cousin did a good job of keeping my wine glass filled while I was grilling so I had a nice buzz on by the time we left to catch the ferry to the beach.

We had fun at the beach, went out dancing and got fairly drunk as we were running on fumes at that point. Had a late dinner and went to bed.

Sunday I caught an early ferry back because it was Fathers Day and I was having dinner with my sons. They were at their grandfather's house in a tony north Jersey suburb which is only 20 minutes from Hoboken. Their mom actually agred that it made more sense for me to pick them up there, have an early dinner at a local restaurant and then she'd pick them up and take them home thus saving me a lot of extra driving. I thanked her for making it easy for me. My brother thinks the anger/hate is dissipating but I think it will take years.

After dinner with the boys I went back into the city to meet the husband at a party our friends were having. They live on the LES which is a hopping neighborhood these days. The have the top apartment of a six floor walk-up. Last year they built this amazing roof deck and that is where the party was. Walking up six flights the day after a triathlon was not fun. They also always provide really nice eye candy for their guests. There was one guy who was all chatty once he realized I had done a triathlon. The husband was able to throw back the close your mouth comment I had made the day before.

Monday I had dinner with some fraternity brothers. The guy who was the president of the house my junior year was in town from the U.K. We met up and had wings and beers but because his flight was delayed the dinner started pretty late and I got home at 12:30. Then last night I had to go down to central Jersey for my oldest son's 5th grade completion ceremony. Come September he is in the middle school. IT really wasn't as cloy and cheesy as I thought it would be and I did get a bit veklempt. I then stopped by our friends farm to pick up a piece of art the husband had bought and had delivered there. I also picked up the ashes of the husband's first dog.

Tonight we are having dinner in the city to celebrate our first anniversary of living in civil unionized bliss. I had to wear a blazer no less but I did not shave since I got up late this morning after running around for the past four days.

To paraphrase Groucho- any club that would have me as a member, I wouldn't want to join

The husband and I hit the gym here in Hoboken this morning before work. It was actually nice working out with him in the morning. We showered up- separately- and hopped on the bus. Full Lower Lip was on it and he saw the husband get on and moved his bag- almost begging him to sit next to him; hmmm.

This market is one where everything is quickly approaching a correlation of one. That is not good by the way. LEH broke deal price- also not good. The big change has been that the ECB did a serious policy about face and started channelling the old Bundesbank. The Bundesbank was a serious inflation fighting machine- the did not care about trying to affect the biz cycle. They were of the mindset that as long as prices were stable the biz cycle would take care of itself. I think they had it right too. This change in policy is causing rates to go higher and that means all the ibanks marks will have to get adjusted- down. This summer will see more vol tot he down side in financials is my guess.

The shagalicious look was really bugging the shit out of me so today when I went out to pick up lunch I stopped by a barbershop two blocks from the office. Walked in, sat down and told the gentleman a number 3 all over, square back and use the hot foam and straight razor on the back of the neck. He looked at me and asked if I knew how short a number 3 was. I gave him a baleful look and replied yes, just do it. Three days early but I am much happier.

Got home, walked and fed the kids, did my biz and went back to the gym to do a short brick. Got done with it and went to shower up. Came back to the locker, got dressed and started to pick up my clothes and put them in my bag when I realized some asshole had stolen my sweaty jock strap! (Some of you may recall from an earlier post the same thing happened to the husband, that is where the title of the post comes into play.) I would have been more flattered and less creeped out if the guy had just asked for it but that is not what really pissed me off. The dickweed took one of my socks as well. Seriously you know what really grinds my gears? Having a sock without its mate. It's useless!

I noticed on my crackberry before dinner JPM's analyst came out and cut numbers for MER. That does not bode well for the financials tomorrow when terms like "hedges didn't work" are thrown around so casually.

The boys had another early dismissal today. They only have 7 days left of school. My oldest actually got homework from one teacher; I guessed which one it was- the prick I have not liked (nor has his mother) since we met the teachers at the open house at the beginning of the school year. He fits into the Pink Floyd mode of teachers is my guess.

Did you just get out of Lewisboro?

The weekend at the beach was awesome! We caught a late ferry out Friday night, watched BSG and went to bed. Saturday we had a friend come out for the weekend. I had had drinks with her the week earlier and she asked how the summer was going. I told her we had a beach house for the season. She said she had not be out there in a long time so I invited her out for the weekend.

When she arrived off the ferry I had a margarita waiting for her. She was commenting on how polite every man was on the ferry. I told her it was because they all thought they could steal her for the weekend and have their own Grace.

The weather was stunning. It was sunny and in the 90s the entire time. Tea was packed Saturday and we didn't get to meet up with two of the guys from drinks every Tuesday in Hoboken. We had a late dinner, watched a cheesy werewolf movie on Sci-Fi and went to bed. Sunday was a repeat weather-wise of Saturday until around 5:30 when this killer t-storm hit; it was quick and loud. We caught a late ferry back. On the drive back the husband got an email telling him the Scottie he had let his friends take to live on a farm passed away. He was crushed. Losing a dog sucks because dogs are the only truly unconditional love any of us will most likely experience in this life. I felt bad for him.

We got back to Hoboken and had dinner at our kitchen away from home. There was a drunk there who came up to me and asked if I had just gotten out of prison because I am so muscular. I said no. He then asked what I do to get my muscles. I told him lift weights at the gym. He asked if my girlfriend likes them. My response was no but he does and pointed to my husband sitting next to me. That ended the conversation quickly.

My secret man-crush in the office who is doing the race with us this Saturday got injured this past weekend. This kid is hardcore. He is training for a half Iron Man race in September and this race Saturday is a warm up for him. Anyways he was doing a brick Saturday when he had to stop quickly on his bike. He didn't pop out of his pedals quick enough and sliced his ankle pretty badly. He said he is just going to see if the doctor can give him a shot of cortisone the day before the race.

My crackberry went on the fritz Friday evening on the drive out to the beach so I was completely incommunicado and have to say it was kind of nice. I used the husband's phone to call the boys each night.

Speaking of the boys, the hot weather continued today so they had an early dismissal from school today. I will be down there Thursday night for my oldest son's spring concert.

I got to see the New York premeire of The Incredible Hulk tonight. It was way better than that drivel Ang Lee made but was not as fun as Iron Man. Also too violent for the boys to see in my opinion.

Spider-man, Spider-man

Thursdays are CMG for lunch days- every Thursday, rain, snow or shine. We usually leave at 11:40 to beat the crowds. Today the other guy on the desk who goes with me is out, so I am solo for lunch. We were fairly busy so I left about 10 minutes later than usual. There was a small crowd starting to gather out on the street and some of NY's Finest. I looked up and someone had put a green banner on the side of the building.

I went on to CMG, got lunch and came back to find the entire block- and then some- cordoned off and a massive crowd. I looked up to see the guy who had put was continuing to climb the building. I had to duck under the yellow police tape (and yes Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law was going through my head) to get back into the building. The guy stopped outside our floor- the 47th. Tons of people snapped off pictures with their cell phones- I was not one of them. One of the guys actually sold his immediately to the Post and the Times. I forwarded it to a lot of people on my email contacts and then the ex-wife so the boys could see it.

The guy was protesting global warming apparently. He has climbed buildings before and is famous for it. He is also French. I have to think he ruined his carbon footprint today due to the fuel and energy the cops and firemen spent and all the idling of buses, cars and trucks he caused by having traffic stopped for a hour for a two block radius.

I got home and found out there was a copy-cat climber. Only in New York...

The husband has officially become the favorite in-law of my parents. I know this becaause they signed up for a class in conversational Spanish. To make it even funnier, last night my brother called them, my mom answered in Spanish and he thought he dialed the wrong number so he hung up.

Out in California there will be poop powered cars soon. I read it on BBERG. The sweage from the treatment plants will be used to power fuel cells for cars.

This morning I was supposed to swim for a hour. The pool was crowded and the lifeguard told me I had to stop. I had fifty minutes in so figured no big deal. I was getting dressed to go to work when this cute suit and tie guy came in and put his Speedo on and went to the pool.

Son, you need to meet my friend coffee

Yesterday the summer intern we have working on the desk actually fell asleep- on a trading desk that is verboten! So I looked at the boss and said I think it's time for iced coffees. I walked across the street to the deli, bought him an iced coffee and plopped it down next to him and told him to drink up.

Yesterday GM announced they are closing down 4 plants. Sales being down thirty percent might have nudged them in that decision. They are probably going to get rid of the Hummer line. Oh no, what will all the baby boomers do if they can't buy Hummers anymore while they complain about the environment getting destroyed and we are only in Iraq for oil? I have come to realize I am not a fan of the boomers. I find them incredibly self centered, arrogant and full of a holier than thou attitude. It may explain why I am not a fan of the Beatles (the Back Street Boys of the '60s). I also like to tell any boomer I meet that the moon landing was faked. That totally pisses them off. I don't believe it was faked but love getting them pissed off. But I digress. The shutting of the plants will definitely be a negative for the emplyment figures but those and all government statistics have been so warped starting with the Kennedy Administration that they are all to be viewed with serious cynicism.

I am still concerned about us doing something stupid with Iran. There were a lot of rumors that we are going to strike the IRG. We currently don't have the proper resources or werewithal to do that.

I read about how some scientists genetically altered e. coli into a computer. It is both way cool and way scary to me at the same time.

I used to think golf was a boring sport and maybe not even a sport until one of my straight friends told me both Camilo Villegas and Adam Scott go to my church. I immediately googled both and came to the conclusion Camilo is because he wears a white belt while golfing. He is hot too and looks a bit like my husband. Adam Scott is Australian so that immediately makes him hot and I would totally give him one of my woods on the course if he needed it to make the shot.

I knew I had the vision plan for a reason

This past weekend out at the beach it was just the two of us and the kids and it was very relaxing. We had dinner with the outlaws and then caught the ferry Friday night. My mother-in-law made spaghetti and meat sauce for us and I made the garlic bread.

Saturday's weather was kind of crappy so we did some yard work and re-arranged the deck furniture next to the pool. We decided since we were sans the boys to have friends over for dinner Saturday night after tea. The husband made some awesome ratatouille and I grilled in the rain with an umbrella.

Sunday was great weather but a bit windy. Sitting next to the pool I was sweating like a pig so we went to the beach and the breeze was very nice. Got some good color which as a pale Irish kid I can always use. We had dinner at our favorite local watering hole back in Hoboken after it took us close to a hour to get from the midtown tunnel over to the Lincoln. As I was attempting to read the menu the husband said ok it's time for you to get your eyes checked, you may need glasses.

So yesterday I logged onto the HR benefits page to see if I had any type of insurance for my eyes. Lo and behold I had signed up for the family vision plan. Thinking about when I did all of that I would have to opine that since both my parents, two of my brothers and both of my ex-inlaws have glasses I must have assumed the boys at some point might need glasses as well. Funny how it's me who needed them first.

I set up an appointment in the city and went and had them tested. Yep, need glasses. The husband was there to help me pick the correct frames since I would have gone with plain old black or wire. After paying the bill I was very happy I had the foresight to sign up for the vision plan.

After that we hit the pool at NYU since the husband is an alumnus and did our swim work out for our training. Holy shit there are some seriously hot college swimmers. I felt like a dirty old man but couldn't help but stare. Then we had dinner with Ragnar and his bf at a Vietnamese place around the corner.

The race is a week from this Saturday. Big development though over the weekend. The boss's wife has a stress fracture in her foot so she is also now out of the race. All I have to do is cross the finish line and I beat them both and have bragging rights for the year. More importantly I will be getting rid of this mop I have have on my head. The day before the race I will be going to SuperCuts and paying roughly $14 to have them take a number three razor to it and giving me a square back with no sideburns. Woo- hoo!

After this race I will be taking two weeks off from any sort of training and then I get back to the dojo (Kobra-kai, never die!) to finish up my training and hopefully have the black belt before my 41st birthday later this year.

In case you missed it we have just passed thru the eye of the credit crisis and will now be going thru the rest of the storm. WB's board forced the CEO out yesterday. That's what happens when you but GDW at the top of the housing bubble. LEH is supposedly going to have to raise another $4 billion. The Brit banks have still not had their come to Jesus moment and don't even get me started ont he Swiss banks.